It’s like a hug and a squeeze…

My heart over flows.
carly marie cross

Four weeks ago, at my amazing husbands encouragement to find a ‘space’ to do something for myself, I signed up for the SIDS and Kids sunshine beach run. The run is still two sleeps away, and already it has been a gift to me in more ways then I ever could have imagined.

Beyond the obvious benefits to my health and waistline, my early morning and evening runs have been a great time to reflect and admire the beauty around me. The colours of the sunrise remind me of an affirmation I copied out a few days after losing my baby in such a traumatic way…

“I am grateful for every sunrise as it means I have another day to make a positive difference in my own life and in the lives of those around me.” (Carly Marie)

And at the end of each day, each sunset sings
“Every time the sun sets it leaves behind luminous colours. Those colours are the sun’s promise of a new day to come.” (Carly Marie)

These spaces in time have created a new rhythm in my life, and as I have pounded the pavement, I have been conscious of being grateful and that each day is a gift, and while each day brings it’s own challenges, there are always moments, sometimes brief, that are gifts.

I have been blown away by the $1025 my friends and family have donated in honour of Quinn and Aria to the Sunshine Beach Run. The kids have a story book that teaches about saying please, the line at the end of the book says that “please is like a hug and a squeeze”. Each email that has run through cyber space with the breaking news that another friend had put their hand in their pocket and had donated was like a ‘hug and a squeeze’ to me.
Each dollar not only helps prevent the death of a baby or child, it has helped a pieces of my heart be glued back together. My friends from as far as Germany and Alaska and as close as next door have spoken clearly that I matter, that my tears have mattered, that my babies short lives mattered, that my love for them matters.
I am blessed. Your love is a blessing to me. I wish each person that has or will travel this terrible journey had you all behind them…and now they will, as your support will be a hug and a squeeze to them in their darkest days.

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